the HONEST truth!

Before you go any further if you are not up for the HONEST human truth... then leave now!   If you are then take it for what it is worth.

The bottom fell out!
Yes I am still doing this trip!
But that doesn't mean I haven't been grossly and utterly depressed... or feeling like the living dead.

Yes I know life is hard!
I am one that truly believes life is hard from the first labor pain, through the birth canal (personally being pulling out by "tongs") and gasping for that first breath of air.  You are at the mercy of those around you and with out knowing it you have already started a game of chess.  Yes! that is how I see it!

You can be a quite baby, never crying when hungry, wet, or sleepy and while some get what they need, most go hungry until the doctor notices low weight gain, etc...

OR you can CHOOSE to scream, cry, and somehow communicate with life and demand the next step. (food, shelter, and attention)

EVERYTHING you do in life is a choice!
EVERYTHING you do will have a LONG TERM effect on the rest of the game ( your life choices)
Even as a helpless baby you have to learn to go forward, backwards, sideways, and diagonal.

Don't get me wrong! My parents did all they could, and they were united and good with their "lines" as I call them.  Rules, Requirements, and Expectations.

My maternal grandparents only back up the up bringing... So to stop the rattle.

I know and believe that EVERY choice I make in life has a long term effect on me, my life, my community, and future choices of all.  I NEVER expect life to be easy! I never think I am deserving of something unless I have achieved my goals of getting it for myself.

The bottom fell out of the ride the other day! BUT so many new things have come to light. (as my Mother said it would)
People offering help on the road crew,  (finally... I was really getting panic in my thoughts.)
People saying they'll come out with hay and "a hot meal for me"  as no one will want to share my sardines and crackers. ha ha ha

So while grasping the effects of all my hard work going down the drain.  Feeling as if I had just been pushed off the edge of the Grand Canyon, battered on rocks by rushing water, and felt dead.   Life continues! don't get me wrong, one foot in front of the other sounds easy, but for the first few days I was lucky to shift my weight as a daily chart of progress.  Getting no where but making every effort my mind, body and soul had to make.

I am now well enough to 1/2 way talk about it.   I am putting in this on line as it is the truth! While trying to research all of this NO ONE ever posted the ups and downs of planning, preparations, and while some have written books, some are somewhat posting on facebook.  I find very little of the PAIN and agony that goes along with this type of a trip in modern day. 

IN SHORT!
My drop off and pick up fell through.
My cutting through the blue ridge parkway for a few miles looks grim.
My driving my routes is taking SO LONG and SO hard to stay on course it only adds stress to the other issues.

My UK items are not here yet.
My choices of "mule packs" or  harness's and panniers is getting slimmer. and I need them yesterday! but $ and $ put it last on my list, as safety was first!
Sounds like nothing BUT it all adds up and it all knocked me for all I was worth!

ON top of taking care of my normal three stops two birds, three horses, and two dogs ALL of special needs ( only another worry for innocent animals in my life) and working the B&B M-F.  My life is full, my choices are many! I never sit out the game I play, win or loose I always play!

LIFE.
tiz life! is what I always say,
but the past few days I've wanted to scream at the top of my lungs... give me a break here! but alas... EVERY choice I made in the past put me where I was.  So Back Up! Evaluate, LEARN!!!!!! LEARN!!!!! LEARN!!!!! and take a new path! 

This is life and this is the DOWN of my planning stages ( or I hope)

Much love to the world!
to my Family and Friends... Thank you all, Thank you SO MUCH!